TO BE OR NOT TO BE? 4/18/10

At the beginning of our marriage I didn't find it hard to be submissive to my new husband. Jim was gentle, kind and not demanding. I wanted from the beginning to please him; so it wasn't hard to be submissive. That is up to a point! The wedding vows of today have omitted some very deep Godly requirements because today the world contends that the partners in marriage are just that; partners. They share the responsibility one on one. I suppose that is because in some states what is his belongs to her and visa versa. God believes that the wife is to be submissive and the husband is to love her.

In our marriage vows I always remember the phrase "Remember your courtship's smiling days!" Remember your courtship's smiling days? Remember when he would come to the door to pick you up for a date; open the car door; pull your chair out for you; help you cross the street; walk on the outside to protect you from any falling object from on top of the building you were walking in front of? Remember when he would order for you off the menu and hang on every word you said? Remember? I do!

Remember when he would say you looked nice when you didn't; how he would wait patiently for you while shopping in a department store? He would come home every day at noon for lunch, just to be with you. When you went to work he would come by and pick you up for lunch and even while on his walk bring you a Granita from the coffee shop, smile at you and be on his way back to work. Remember when everyone at your place of employment wanted a man just like yours. But they couldn't because when God made him, he broke the mold!

I have to admit that Jim doesn't do all those things for me as he did, but most of the above is still something I can expect because he loves me. Through the years I have been able to submit to his roll as husband and father because he is still the same gentle, kindly and loving man that I married. I can trust his decisions and I know that whatever he plans he has included God into the mix. I also know that whatever I desire, he will do if at all possible. God's plan is perfect but we are not. We would get angry at each other; have disagreements; I would want to argue and he would just not talk. We are striving to become the couple that God has created us to be. We are still learning, because we are different; yet in God we are one.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands." Ephesians 5:22-24 Jim has said that he always felt that he should save me from being hit by a car when he walks on the outside. My savior? He is my protector; he loves me! "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ lived the church and gave himself up for her." Ephesians 5:25

I realize that many wives do not see their husbands as I see mine. I realize that the world offers a new kind of man. One that can be abusive; harsh; hurtful; selfish and impossible to live with. "Unless the Lord builds the house, it will fall!" Psalms 127:1 Within the walls of a Christian family, the impossible is possible. "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." Colossians 3:18-19

The wife that lives with an ungodly man should; "Likewise be submissive to your husband, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word but by the behavior of their wife; when they see your reverent and chaste behavior." 1 Peter 3:1-2

A good marriage does not just happen; it takes perseverance and honesty. We decide to love and therefore we can decide to create a godly marriage. It is a decision that should be made before marriage. It is a decision that both can agree upon! By Jane Ann Crenshaw 4/13/10