When I first met my Mother-in-law she was 70 years old. The same age as I, at this writing! Jim and I had only been engaged for about a week and now he was going to introduce me to his mother and his family. What was I getting into! She lived in a small 8 x 35, one bedroom trailer. She fixed Jim, whom she called Richard, and me a fried chicken dinner with all the trimmings. We ate off TV trays and I began to know this woman who created the man I was going to be married to for the rest of my life. She was the one that instilled in this man some of the thing that drew me to him. She was the one who cradled, nurtured and caused him to become a respectful, gentle and loving man that when he said 'I love you'; all I could say was 'thank you'. She was the one who successfully set him on the road to manhood.
Mittie Ann was 5 foot 6 and stout. I was 4'10 & 1/2 and weighed all of 105 lbs. I was a little intimated! I knew she was looking me over very closely and I am sure she didn't care if I looked her over or not. It was her son she would be releasing to this snip of a girl, who thought she could take care of him better than she had. As we sized one another up I realized that for all her size she was every bit as gentle as her son was. That didn't mean you could put anything over on her or ruffle her feathers. She was a mother to be reckoned with when it came to her children. I knew we could be friends! I was right!
We had been married 13 years when she came to live with us on the acreage in Sam's Valley. She lived in a small trailer just up from our house with easy access. Sidewalks were put in for her and a stair rail to steady her so she could easily go up and down for her walks. Her diabetes was taking its toll on her but life was good and she could go to church every Sunday. It became necessary for us to monitor her grocery shopping to make sure she was eating properly. It was hard for her to bathe but we had an easy walk-in shower which we encouraged her to use. It was becoming apparent that she felt I was now her boss and she had no say in anything. The kids heard her mumbling something about; "Why did he marry that woman!" Life was becoming difficult for this grand old lady who was almost 90!
I hear a lot of derogatory comments from other wives complaining about their mother-in-laws. I know I have done mine! But in retrospect I have no complaints about Jim's Mom! She never interfered with the raising of our children, she just loved them. She never complained about my cooking and was helpful in teaching me many things. She never wanted to be any trouble but she wanted to be included in everything. She loved taking us out to dinner on Sundays and even helped us in some difficult, economic times.
When I think of Mother-in-laws I go to the book of Ruth. The relationship that developed between Naomi and the two daughters was not by accident but by divine intervention. Naomi loved God and shared this love with her daughter-in-laws. Naomi's first desire was to take these two girls with her when she returned home but decided the best thing for them was to stay where they were. She was going home! They were already home; they should stay!
In Ruth 1:14 the writer tells us; "They lifted up their voices and wept." Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law and returned home, but Ruth clung to her. In verse 18 Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, so she said no more. They both went to Bethlehem! A love and devotion unheard of in many circles, is a story that can belong to any woman who is willing to look at her mother-in-law and realize that she is a gift from God. I know that the wives of today cannot be found saying to their mother-in-law; "All that you say I will do." Husbands and wives are a reflection of their mothers. The wife that can see the gem that comes with their husband is the wife who honors her mother-in-law. How blessed she is! By Jane Ann Crenshaw 7/29/08
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